Nevermore

Tired. Beyond belief, like weary, to the bone. Of everything and almost everyone. I know that I should really just take a vacation and a big dose of fuckital. But nope, I can’t, too much kicking around my head at the moment. Love lost, life on pause , nothing seems to matter anymore.

Where is it all leading to? And what is going to be the end result? I never get answers, only more questions. My faith and wits are stretched to the max. And there’s no relief in sight.

But there’s too much to do and not enough time to do what needs doing. Especially on my own, but I don’t expect help to come anymore. Either I suck it up and get it done, or I don’t. There is no other option. Life goes on and so must I.

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It never fails.

Get good news one day. Get crapped on the next. Story of my life. And now I’m off to be under appreciated and overwhelmed for the next 8 hrs. Life right now just makes me wanna holler like Marvin Gaye. But I still pick myself up and keep moving. I’ve always wondered why I do. Maybe someday, I’ll figure it out.

Dazed and confused

I was almost asleep when my estranged wife (and that’s putting it very lightly!) calls and tells me basically that she’s got cancer and to file for divorce and drop her from my insurance so that the state she’s in will pay her medical bills. WTF? Yeah, sleep, it went bye-bye. I’m all kinds of confused. I’m alone in a townhouse I rushed to rent so I could get my family back together, only to see them go 3000 miles away. Almost a year ago now. And now this?