I already had a crappy day. It got even worse at work, even without drama from my bosses. I’ve had it with this sham I call a life, I would’ve been happier as a soldier somewhere off at war. But I got talked out of enlisting. Stupid me. I probably wouldn’t have met my friends, not that more than a handful talk to me anyway now as it is. But it would definitely beat this shitty existence. I lay here, with my dog and dinner of teddy grahams and Jack Daniels and wonder why I’m still alive. Knowing I’m worth more dead than alive to my family. They don’t know this though. I didn’t think I was going to live past February, but I did. Just a secret between me and the blogosphere. I thought I’d be able to start my life over with an old friend. But it turns out, she reminded me of a point of honor I never thought I’d try to break. Specifically because it happens to be a commandment. I have to remember to thank her for reminding me. If I make it through the week. Time will tell.